Signs of Sexually Abused Children

Profile

    • High IQ
    • Enjoys or is good at art
        • Drawing/painting
        • Clay sculpting
        • Poetry
          • The themes are usually of hope, fear, and/or pain
    • Unexplained illnesses
    • Stress-related physical issues
    • Headaches in the temporal region
    • Early graying of the hair
    • Anxiety and depression
    • Very protective of her children
    • Always busy
    • Often running late
    • Capable and competent
    • Engaging personality
    • Wouldn’t want to or knowingly hurt another person
    • Tendency toward co-dependency or people-pleasing

Symptoms

Objective/external

    • Forgetful
    • Losses track of where she parked the car, or how she got to her appointment/destination
    • Unable to recall much in detail about her past
    • Changeable mood (mood swings or rapid shifts)
    • “Split personality”
    • Frequently changes clothes in the morning until she decides which outfit to wear
    • Frequently changes hair style, even during the day (uses a clip and re-does her hair a lot)
    • Often runs late
    • Will “suddenly” have to excuse herself or leave an event before it is over
    • “Spaces out” at times (stares blankly), and has a startled response or is embarrassed when called upon
    • Is startled a lot in her own home
    • Experiences body memories when she sees, smells, or hears certain things
    • Experiences night terrors, yet can’t seem to recall the dreams when awakened out of them
    • Starts arguments for seemingly no reason, especially when things seemed to finally be settling down
    • Nightmares of being chased, suffocated, or unable to get away
    • Will rarely sit through an entire church service
    • Has a visceral reaction to liturgical robes and symbols
    • Avoids participating in communion
    • Overly paranoid of occultist symbols
    • Hates particular family heirlooms but will never get rid of them
    • Will, at times, wear certain colors, despite knowing that they aren’t her colors
    • Shifting between overly responsible and irresponsible
    • Controlling
    • Critical of self or others
    • Apologetic
    • Seems to be attracted to the “wrong” kind of person
    • Hyper-vigilant (can’t relax or let down)
    • Hates being alone, yet isolates
    • Tearful for no apparent reason
    • Inexplicable sense of dread
    • Panic attacks and agoraphobia
    • Noticeably different styles of hand writing
      • Right and left hand
      • Consistent with her mood
    • Does not need her prescription glasses at times when she would normally use them
    • Self-injurious behavior
    • Self-mutilative behavior
    • As a child, soiled or wet him/herself, hurt animals, and set fires
    • Eating disorders (especially self-induced vomiting)
    • Desire to destroy or run from her own sexuality
    • Discomfort with normal and progressive steps of bonding and intimacy
      • Driven to move too far too fast or to avoid all together
      • Compulsively physical or compulsively avoidant
    • Unusual interest in following stories pertaining to child abduction or child abuse
    • Unusual interest in spy or thriller movies
    • Unexplainable purchases
    • Unexplainable apparel in her closet
    • Unexplainable brief trips (where no one knows her where she went)
    • Significant medical complaints
    • OBGYN problems
    • Infertility issues
    • Disconnection between sex and love
    • High anxiety during pregnancy (sense of foreboding)
    • Loves her kids, but has few photos of them
    • Possibility of addiction to pain killers
    • Eats for other reasons than hunger
    • Keeps gifts from family that she hates or gives her a bad feeling, but never gets rid of them
    • Remembers her childhood as “basically good,” despite evidence that there were serious underlying issues between mom and dad
    • Distorted view of forgiveness
      • Forgive prior to forgiveness being requested
      • Forgive and forget
      • Bury the hatchet regardless of whether there has been contrition
      • Family always sticks together
        • Blood is thicker than water
        • You can choose your friends, but not your family
        • To honor your parents is to tolerate their emotional irresponsibility
      • Parents always love their children
      • Food, clothing, shelter = love
    • Believe that certain emotions are “good and “bad.”

Internal/intrapsychic

    • A sense of foreboding
    • A belief in a personal version of Murphy’s law
      • That they are cursed
      • Ineligible for good things
      • Waiting for the other shoe to drop
      • Inexplicable sense of dread
    • An increasing degree of anxiety the longer things are calm or go well
    • Uneasy with being quiet or still
    • Hears internal voices (yet fearful others will find out lest he/she be thought of as crazy)
      • Super critical
      • Persecutorial
      • Suicidal
        • Must appear all together
        • Must keep secrets
        • Must endure pain
        • Must keep people from knowing
      • Dissociates (goes away)
        • Feels depersonalized (not real or numb)
        • Tries to stay present (by creating enough pain to stay in the here-and-now)
        • Can, at times, recall seeing her body from outside herself
      • Love/hate relationship with the church or religion
      • Limited recall of certain recent conversations or event
      • Love/hate relationship with paramours of the opposite sex
      • Inexplicably irritated by certain people or situations
      • Flashes of things too quick to see, but feelings of anxiety or dread become pronounced
      • Panic/dread
      • Heightened anxiety and avoidance of certain non-traditional days on the calendar
      • Secretly superstitious to an extreme
      • Performs certain repetitive behaviors or rituals to feel better or safe
      • Self-loathing
      • Self-deprecating
      • Fights to prevent others from loving them or treating them kindly
      • Self-sabotaging
      • Ineffective personal boundaries with selfish people
      • Feels emotionally tired
      • Feels emotional dead

Upon revealing of their inner world

    • They will come out fairly fast
    • They want to tell… each one, while the others want their turn (finally able to talk, because they are finally believed)
    • The roles and rules of the inner world
    • The inner system (the layers of the onion, rooms in the house)
    • They fear disclosure
    • The purpose of each in the system
    • How the perpetrator knows how to use dissociation to create the perfect crime
    • They are driven to keep secrets, and to stop any more secrets from coming out
      • Significant internal conflict
        • Drive to be known and believed
        • Driven to be set free
        • Driven to protect the core person
    • They will experience dread
      • Of the curse coming true
      • Of the perpetrators finding out
      • Of internal punishment
      • Of being disloyal (the Stockholm syndrome)
      • Of the meaning and implications of such things having happened to them
    • They will revert to denial
    • They will attempt to stop the process
    • The different effects of the ages and stages of the abuse
    • It gets worse before it gets better
    • Pain management
    • Dissociation management
    • Helping internal harmony
    • Helping them to see that they served a noble purpose
    • Helping them see that they are not dirty and to blame (as all rape victims feel)
    • Helping them see that they are not evil and bad
    • Helping them with the deprogramming process (automatic self-destruct and self-protective)
    • Helping them see the truth about the perpetrators (coming out of the “family”)
    • Helping them realize that they can now choose
    • Helping them with boundaries
    • Helping them to decide when and how to confront

A word about false memories

    • The power of suggestion
    • The problem with hypnosis
    • Eager therapists
    • Eager perpetrators to avoid detection (they go on the offensive)
    • The big lie theory (“we would remember anything significant that happened to us”)
    • Back tracking by the client is to be expected, thus the therapist must have no agenda.

A word about evil

    • The human heart hasn’t changed over the years
    • The numbers of missing persons (especially children) is significant
    • Children have always been used by evil perpetrators in rituals and self-gratification
    • God’s heart is for innocence and purity, thus they hate it
    • The occult has always used this method
    • Perpetrators are after gratification and power
    • Perpetrators play upon the fact that most people won’t see what they don’t want to believe

A word about healing and growth

    • The person must want healing more than their present pain
      • They will have to move into that which they have been avoiding
    • Healing is a process
    • The goal is symptom management and problem solving skills
    • Growth equates to being able to have personal boundaries
    • Growth equates to being able to be fully emotionally present
    • Growth equates to being comfortable with emotions
    • Growth equates to being able to hold apparent inconsistencies re: existential and spiritual issues during the process and the journey
    • The goal is internal harmony as opposed to “integration”
    • The goal is peace and rest

"Love always protects" (1 Cor. 13:7).